"Are We the Waiting," Green Day
T-Minus 2 minutes until commencement of STAR Testing:
Me: Okay, so any questions? Yes, Adam?
Adam: Abraham won't stop calling me stupid! And he also said I'm a Satan worshipper!
Jackie (whispering): Ms. Murray? Tommy is high.
Me: How do you know?
Jackie: Well, his eyes are all red and blood-shot.
Me: Yeah, but--
Jackie: And I asked him and he told me.
(5 minutes later)
Me: Yes, Tommy?
Tommy: Can I get a drink of water?
Me: No. You need to finish your test.
Tommy: I did, man!
Me: ... I passed it out 9 minutes ago...? How on Earth are you done?
Tommy: I'm just...fast...but seriously, can I get some water?
Me: Do you need me to show you how many pages you're supposed to read each day? Okay...well, there's 11 days worth of reading. Somebody give me a number divisible by 11.
Nathan: 11.
Me: I posted the lit. assignment on schoolloop. Does anyone think they need a hard copy of it? (pause) Oh! Did you notice my indefinite pronoun error?
Greg: Yeah. Does anyone think HE needs a hard copy.
Me: Yes! Good! (pause) You know what? How about I give you extra credit when you notice if I make an indefinite pronoun error?
Hayden: HE!
Me: What?
Hayden: You messed up again! You said YOU! It should be HE!
Me: No. "You" is correct.
Justin (whispering to neighbor): I'm just going to periodically call out 'indefinite pronoun error!' and hope I'm right.
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