Here's to Oblivion

"Sound Siren," Unwritten Law

Dad: You should print this thing out.
Me: What thing?
Dad: This...blog thing.
Me: Why?
Dad: It's cool...it's better than a journal, because it has pictures too. How many people read it... three?
Me: ...I don't know...
Dad: Well, I just think it's kind of depressing that you spend all this time and write all this stuff, and no one reads it...
Me: People read it!
Dad: I mean, I'm looking at it right now, I'm scrolling down...no comments...no comments... nope, no comments...
Me: Thanks Dad.
Dad: I'm just saying!

Watch the Rain Play on the Ocean Top

"I'd Rather Be with You," Joshua Radin

Tim and I spent the weekend in Santa Barbara/Santa Ynez for wedding planning and the grand opening of the new Backdoor Boardshop (the skate/surf/snow shop Chris manages). The new location is on the other side of Solvang, and the space is two-story and easily twice as big. Lots of people came out for food, live music, a shop-skate-deck decorating contest, a skate show, and support.




It's raining. Bailey and I are reduced to sitting inside, grading in-class essays, hoping the pile of dishes in the sink washes itself, and watching Lifetime movies. And listening to music. Speaking of, Jimmy Buffett is coming to Irvine May 21 and Chula Vista October 15. AND Billy Joel and Elton John are touring together. AND Jack's Mannequin and Matt Nathansen are coming to SOMA on May 21 (but the Killers are only going to Nor-Cal). AAAANNNNNNDDD RENT is in Hollywood at the end of this month. Forget buying a house; I need concert tickets!!! :)

"I've got my hush-puppies on,
I guess I never was meant for glitter rock and roll..."

All These Places Have Their Moments...

"In My Life," The Beatles

So, Facebook is doing this thing right now where people post 25 random facts about themselves. I held out for a long time, mainly because I didn't have the time or desire to write down 25 random pieces of information about my life. This morning, however, I apparently felt like listing. I'm including the facts here in the blog too because, well, it took a little while to write and I figure I may as well share it across multiple domains. So without further ado, for those of you that have been forever-pining for random tidbits of information about my life, here are 25 things, in no particular order:

1. I'm caving in and doing this, since the alternative is to lesson plan for school or watch the Buick Invitational with Tim. Apparently I don't really know how to use Facebook, because it took me a good 7-8 minutes to figure out how to post a note.

2. My full name is Chelsea Elizabeth Murray. My paternal grandmother was born in Chelsea, Massachusetts, and my parents were big fans of the movie "On Golden Pond" when I was born...Jane Fonda's character is named "Chelsea." My Aunt Karen's middle name is Elizabeth.

3. I'm in love with and marrying my best friend in August. :)

4. I voted for Obama and am damn proud of it.

5. I teach high school English and I absolutely love it. I had no idea it would be this challenging, but I also had no idea it would be this rewarding. There is NEVER a dull moment.

6. I went to Acapulco for spring break my freshman year of college. It was just two of us; my college best friend, Krissy, and I. We were 18 and in retrospect, I can't BELIEVE our parents let us go. It was COMPLETELY dangerous, chaotic, and inappropriate for two 18-year-olds.

7. I got an iguana for Christmas when I was 12. His name was Fred, and he grew to be 6 feet long. Although he had a large cage, he was hardly ever in it. Instead, he roamed the house freely like the cats, and freaked out visitors on a daily basis. He escaped twice; once the fire department, animal control, AND the local news station had to be involved in his rescue. He died young due to a disease that rotted his tongue.

8. I faint at the sight of blood or hearing about anything blood/vein/needle/medicine

related. It's extremely inconvenient and embarrassing. I have been talking about going to a hypnotist to get it fixed for years now.

9. I played competitive hockey for 5 seasons, and was the only girl in the league for 3 of those. One mean boy told me girls shouldn't play hockey; I was ejected from the game for shoving him over. I stopped playing hockey in 8th grade, because by that point I had 8-9 swim practices a week.

10. I am mildly obsessed with Broadway songs/shows, and have the complete soundtracks memorized to RENT, Les Mis, Aida, Oliver, The Lion King, The Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street, and Newsies.

11. I was my class representative for the school-wide Spelling Bee in 5th grade. I didn't make it very far, and lost on the word "autumn." To this day, I cringe when spelling that word.

12. I lived in Manly (a suburb of Sydney), Australia for 5 months and it was a life-changing experience. I was fired from the Steyne, the bar/club I worked at-- the first and (knock on wood) only time I've ever been fired. That's the first time I've ever admitted that in any type of public fashion.

13. I learned to SCUBA-dive in the Florida Keys with my dad and brother years ago. Since then, I have dived in the Great Barrier Reef, the Bahamas, Catalina, and Fiji. My dad, brother, and I went on a shark feed in the Bahamas, and were surrounded by Grey Caribbean Reef and Mako sharks. It was totally crazy, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

14. While visiting my dad a few years ago, I was bit on the tongue by an angry, striking snake. My dad's initial response upon seeing me, writing snake in hand and profusely bleeding from the mouth: "Is the snake okay?!?!" I had to go to the hospital, where the doctor told me: "The tongue is a very vascular muscle, so you should be okay. But if you're not, please let me know!"

15. My favorite movies are Con Air, Empire Records, Stand By Me, and Backdraft. I secretly wanted to be a fire fighter for many years.

16. One of my favorite childhood memories is a trip to Vancouver, Canada with my family. We took a boat out on Johnstone Strait and sat in the midst of a pod of 29 killer whales for 2 hours. It was magic.

17. I want to name my children after significant literary figures, such as Scout (To Kill a Mockingbird), Huck (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn), Holden (The Catcher in the Rye), and Casey (The Grapes of Wrath).

18. In college I thought I was somewhat of a punk rocker, and Krissy and I used to go to at least 2 punk shows a month at old-school Hollywood places like The Palace or The Knitting Factory. We wore the ultra-cool twisted plastic bracelets, and usually took at least 2-3 days to take off the "House of Blues" armbands.

19. In high school I went to 5 'N Sync concerts-- (I heart JT). Last November I saw New Kids on the Block live.

20. I'm very close with both my parents and, despite the fact they divorced when I was a senior in high school, I've never heard one say a single negative thing about the other. I'm blessed and I know it.

21. Tim and I, along with Marisa and Lane, took a group of 14 high school students to Greece this past summer. It was an incredible experience and I already want to go back. Watching these teenagers have a life-changing experience and grow in personal and cultural awareness right before our eyes was awesome. And also, I could live on Mykonos.

22. I spent 8 days on Heron Island (Great Barrier Reef) with Tim and my dad. Each night we went to the beach to watch hundreds of baby Loggerhead sea turtles emerge from the sand and scurry into the water. Only about 1% actually survive, as the rest are immediately eaten by awaiting seagulls or sharks, but it was a breath-taking experience nonetheless.

23. All four of my grandparents passed away either before I was born or when I was young, and unfortunately I was never close with any of them. I have never lost anyone extremely close to me, and sometimes it makes me nervous because I've never experienced that pain before.

24. I had a storybook childhood filled with next-door-neighbor best friends, tree climbing contests, bike rides, pet and talent shows, pillow forts, TP-ing wars, Willowglen Park, s'mores parties, flashlight tag, Kick-the-can, haunted houses, and sleepovers. It's the kind of childhood I can only hope to give my own children someday.

25. I have no regrets. Sure, I've made mistakes and done things I'm not entirely proud of. But, I am excited about where I am and what my future holds, and I know that whatever happens I have amazing people in my life. I feel very grateful and very lucky.

Dreaming of Revelry

Kings of Leon

When I was in 7th grade, my home economics teacher showed us a video about AIDS. One part of the video outlined different ways in which AIDS can be contracted. A short clip showed a young boy and girl becoming "blood brothers;" what I assume was ketchup had been dabbed unconvincingly on their forearms. I remember putting my head down on my desk to avoid the image-- the next thing I remember is waking up to rows of black Converse and whispering 12-year-olds. I was face down on the floor in the aisle of the classroom, sweating somewhat uncontrollably and trying not to cry. My first fainting episode.

A few months later my now-13-year-old self, in the midst of one of Senor Martin's Spanish quizzes, nobly tried to sharpen a pencil with my fingernail. Not surprisingly I missed; the tip of the pencil lodged neatly underneath the nail of my pointer finger. Perhaps because of my episode only two months earlier, the "faint radar" in my brain clicked into high gear and I immediately felt dizzy. I stayed in my seat hoping the feeling would pass, but when I realized I was only feeling worse I stood and started to walk to my teacher's desk. About 3 feet from his computer, I collapsed. Hyperventilating, I stayed in on the floor in the corner of the room until the janitor came to pick me up and take me to the front office. In the janitor's cart.

It didn't happen again for a few years in an embarrassing capacity, although fainting at the doctor's office has become second nature. Any time I have to see a doctor, I assume I will faint and prep the doctor accordingly. I am almost never wrong. Gratefully, most people I encountered in my adolescence were understanding and accommodating (and also, secretly weirded out) by my obsessive and unnatural fear of blood, needles, veins, and anything medicine-related. I specifically remember being excused from the "Red Asphalt" films during Driver's Ed and the birthing video (courtesy of Title 22 Advanced First Aid training) during beach lifeguard training.

During college, Krissy and I had the brilliant idea to take Phy Sci because, obviously, we were dilligently interested in better understanding the various, scientific systems of the human body. And also, perhaps, because the course fit into the two hours of daily time we were alloted between swim practices to attend classes. And also, maybe because we heard it was an easy A. In any case, one of the course requirements was to have blood drawn in order to test cholesterol levels. When Krissy and I showed up to have our blood drawn, I was horrified to see a row of eight doctors, sitting next to patient's chairs, pricking students while simultaneously laughing and chatting with nurses. In an effort to maintain anonymity and privacy, students were asked to line up like cattle and see the "next available doctor." Prime fainting territory, and I certainly didn't disappoint. I cried. I screamed. I yelled at the doctor. Krissy was right next to me, and I distinctly remember the doctor saying, "There! You're all done! And you thought you were going to faint..." right before I passed out. I was required to stay there for 45 minutes, drinking apple juice with my legs propped up. Next to the row of anxiously awaiting students. You know, to make them feel more comfortable about their upcoming experience.

Two years ago I was hired at Carlsbad High School and, invariably, was required to get a TB test. Since my only previous experience with a TB test had ended with me on the floor, I asked Tim to come with me. I purposely made my appointment during Tim's lunch time, knowing there would be nothing more thrilling for Tim to do during his lunch than accompany me to the Vista Medical Clinic. I got there before him, and my doctor was an army veteren.

Me: My boyfriend is meeting me here. I usually faint when I get TB tests, so in case that happens he can drive me home.
Doctor (blinking): No, you're mistaken. You're probably thinking of another type of shot. You can hardly feel a TB shot.
Me: I know. It has nothing to do with the pain. It's all in my head. It's the fact that a needle...okay, I actually can't talk about it because I might faint, but I know what a TB test is.
Doctor: ...
Me: He should be here any minute.
Doctor: Seriously, it's nothing. Let's just do it. All of the stuff is right here.
Me: No.
Doctor: Wow. I've actually never seen someone pass out from a TB shot.
Me: Well, hopefully I won't. My boyfriend is a precaution.

Tim arrived. The doctor administered the shot. I squinted and winced and looked away and sweated through my t-shirt and sweatshirt. I felt dizzy and nauseous, but I hadn't passed out. Relieved, I got off of the table and walked with Tim to the elevator. While there, I started to sway a little, and suddenly I couldn't feel my legs. I remember grabbing on to Tim as we walked out into the large entrance way and, ultimately, the front area of the hospital.

Tim: You're okay! You probably still shouldn't drive though. I'll drive you home and we can pick up your car later.
Me: I don't feel good.
Tim: I promise, you're okay. Let's just get you to the car.
Me: I just need to sit down.
Tim: Okay, here, sit on the curb. Put your head between your knees...there...feel better?
Me: I just need to lay down.
Tim: Yeah, but, well, here's the thing...this is the entrance way to the hospital, so it's really busy and crowded. If you can just get to the car, you can lay down there...
Me (mumbling): Nope, I gotta lay down...
Passerby #1: ...Is she okay?
Passerby #2: Holy crap.

I fainted. My hand swung over my body so hard I cracked my watch. I came to with four doctors and Tim huddled over me; I was a football player in the movies looking up at his coaches and teammates after being knocked out. I couldn't figure out where I was or what was going on, and the next thing I knew a man was loading me into a wheelchair and hurriedly rolling me back into the hospital. I was crying. Again. 30 humiliating minutes later, I was on my home with Tim. I spent the entire rest of the day on the couch watching Lifetime movies (which, for clarification, has been known to happen on non-fainting days, too).

Not to disappoint, I was back in full form two weeks ago when Tim and I visited Debbie in the hospital. This time, just the mere SMELL of anti-bacterial soap and medicine was enough to make me feel light-headed. I was sitting in the hospital room for about ten minutes before I had to lay down on the floor and essentially "wait to faint." Although I have yet to time-travel, that's the best way to describe the few seconds before a fainting spell: I suddenly lose my hearing, everything gets hazy, and all perception (depth and otherwise) goes out the window. Coming back after passing out illicits a similar response, only with the added bonus of nausea, confusion, and the immediate desire to cry like a small child. I spent the two hours we visited Debbie laying on the linoleum floor of the hospital room. While I was there, three separate nurses came in to check on Debbie. Their reactions to me:

Nurse #1: Yup. Happens all the time. (Then, to Tim): Should I make up a bed for her? Start an IV?

Nurse #2 (half an hour later): Yeah....you know, if I were you, I wouldn't lay on that floor.

Nurse #3: Oh my god. Oh my god. OH MY GOD! She fainted?!?!?
Me: No, no, don't worry; it happens all the time. I know how to deal with it.
Nurse #3: WHAT?! Well THAT'S not normal! You should have that checked out.

Yesterday, on the phone with my dad, I recalled the events of my latest fainting escapade. Perhaps it's important to note this lovely little habit I have is a genetic trait passed down from him. God love my dad...he was awestruck rather than empathetic.

Dad: Wait. So it was just the smell?
Me: Yup. I know. I'm so pathetic.
Dad: But...the smell?
Me: Yeah, Dad. The smell.
Dad: Wow. You probably want to figure that out. I don't know how you fix that...
Me: I want to go to a hypnotist.
Dad: Good call.

My aunt swears this affliction stems from a incident that happened when I was four; she was baby-sitting and my brother accidentally got his arm stuck in the heating vent. When he pulled it out, he also removed large quantities of skin. I don't remember the event, but then again I faint almost as often as I pay my cell phone bill, so it's nice to have a reason (excuse?) to fall back on. According to F. Scott Fitzgerald, the past follows (and in many cases, haunts) you wherever you go. Maybe I'll spend the rest of my life passing out at inopportune moments and embarrassing myself and the people around me. Gatsby was forever haunted by his underprivileged past; I may very well be forever plagued by my aversion to all things blood and medicine. However, unlike Gatsby's ill-fated desires, my past won't interfere with my American dream...

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."