I Walk These Lines of Blasphemy

"What it is to Burn," Finch

It makes sense Tennessee Williams wrote A Streetcar Named Desire before Law and Order: Special Victims Unit was a television show. Had Williams seen an episode of SVU, perhaps he wouldn't have been so eager to depend on the kindness of strangers. As a newly avid viewer, everyone in real life is now a potential threat or perpetrator. The guy behind me at Vons? Nice cover up with the shaving cream, but I know what those Bic razors are really for. The overpowering stench near Tower 36 on Tamarack Beach? I no longer believe it comes from the nearby port-a-potty, but rather the decomposing body in the trunk of the parked Taurus at the curb. And the guy knocking at our front door pretending to sell magazines as part of a rehabilitation program? You don't fool me for a second, buddy. Your rap sheet's a mile long. Speaking of rap sheets, I am now somewhat well-versed in criminal and legal jargon (I even know what the acronym RAP stands for!) Affidavit? Got it. Injunction? Eminent Domain? Yup. Docket? Restitution? Subpoena? Habeas Corpus? You bet. Not impressed? In middle school I thought a "hung jury" was a group of jurors who had simultaneously killed themselves--I've come a long way. And yes, I realize how incredibly embarrassing, pathetic, and shameful it is, as the daughter of a lawyer, I was taught these terms through a television show.

These irrational and paranoid fears won't last, however. After I read Twilight, I searched the faces in my classes and at the grocery store for possible vampires for at least three weeks. Two years ago in Chicago, when I found out they were filming the street scenes for The Dark Knight while I was in town, Heath Ledger and Christian Bale were in the lobby of my hotel, in line at Dunkin Donuts, and guests at the wedding we were in town for.

But for now, I'll continue to look at my next-door neighbor with an accusatory eye. I'll wonder if the people walking their dogs in Poinsettia Park are actually tracking and recording the dialogues and actions of their next victims. And if I happen to be hired as the next editor for the latest edition of Streetcar, I will seriously consider changing the line to: "Whoever you are-- I have always depended on the kindness of those who I know very well and trust wholeheartedly."

That sound? Tennessee Williams rolling over in his grave.