You Impress Me So Completely

"These Stones Will Shout," The Raconteurs

Me: Why is there barbeque sauce by the front door?
Tim: It's Fuel Injector Cleaner.

* * * * *

Tim: Sometimes I think I'd like to have a gun. Some of my buddies go shoot skeet over in Oceanside.
Me: Are skeet birds?
Tim: (pause) No. They're clay disks.
Me: Oh. I thought skeet was a plural form of some type of bird. You know, the singular being "skit."
Tim: ...
Me: What kind of gun do you use for that? Like a magnum?
Tim: A magnum is a handgun. Do you think people shoot birds...or disks...with a handgun?
Me: Maybe! I don't know anything about guns.
Tim: You would use a shotgun to shoot skeet.
Me: I think you should get one of those guns that the Joker shoots out of the van in The Dark Knight.
Tim: A bazooka?
Me: Yes.
Tim: Okay. That's what I would like for Christmas. A bazooka. You'll need a permit.