"Human," The Killers
I don't floss my teeth enough. I gave up soda for Lent this year and lasted two days. I didn't miss an episode of The Bachelor this season, and was entirely too excited when my People magazine arrived yesterday and Molly and Jason graced the cover. I pick out all the M&Ms in the trail mix, and Tim does more chores around the house than me. I procrastinate more than anyone I know. I am bad at calling people back on time and tend to worry too much about things that don't matter. I over-analyze. I bite my nails to the point J.D. Salinger would call "bleedy-looking." I wear a broken watch at least 3 times a week and become obsessed too easily over bands, authors, movies, and books (hello RENT, River Phoenix, Backdraft, Brand New, John Irving, Stand By Me, Kurt Vonnegut, Catch-22, Empire Records, and Jack's Mannequin). I can quote entire movie monologues, blatantly proving I've had many Friday nights during which I had nothing better to do than memorize quotes from Good Will Hunting. Despite all this, I still think I'm a pretty good person.
Tim and I went to LA last weekend to visit friends, and 8 or 9 of us were sitting at brunch on Sunday morning, nursing hangovers and discussing the karaoke choices from the previous night. For whatever reason, my friend Joe started talking about his aversion to magicians: "I can't even be in the same room as one." Then, "I mean, what value, what progress, do they bring to society? Deception. That's it. Freaks me out."
We laughed, but it made me think about the value that I (do my best) to bring into society. In an environment I've dubbed the "curse of February" (which also, not surprisingly, extends into March...and April...), my students are struggling more than ever to stay focused and motivated. Translated, for too many of them that means a day without ditching is considered an honorable success. Sometimes, I feel like in lieu of sending "Congratulations! Joey received an A on the Great Gatsby test!" notes home, I need to start handing out "Congratulations! Joey did not ditch one time this week, AND he turned in some version of his homework which, although incredibly half-assed, nevertheless made it into my hands!" It's that time of the year where so many kids are hovering at the edge of the metaphorical motivation cliff, and I have to remind myself that part of my job responsibility is to convince these kids school is important and worthwhile. We've had lots of conversations lately about why, according to some, "society sucks." It's frustrating to see so many already pessimistic and cynical high-schoolers, kids who are frustrated by what they deem an inconquerable "system." At the same time, however, they're 16 and 17 years old. Part of their job description is to be world-weary, defiant, and ever-questioning ("Ms. Murray, where do bad words come from?") So I do my best to appreciate their angst-ridden cynicism, impart knowledge I believe builds character, and provide a forum for them to know their opinions matter. And also, we laugh. A lot. And some days, I get responses like this:
"I like this guy, Whitman. He knows what's up. Just, you know, appreciate what you've got. Roll with the punches. The 'barbaric yawp,' or whatever." (On "Song of Myself")
"Dude, this guy can write! He just says it how it is! And Holden could, like, be my friend!" (On The Catcher in the Rye)
Like, totally.
No comments:
Post a Comment