Here Comes the Music

"Rodeo Clowns," Jack Johnson

2010 was a good year for music. Then again, I don't know I'm the best judge...my musical tastes seems to vary drastically-- day to day, month to month-- and I certainly wasn't genetically blessed with my brother's ear for music (or his instrumental talent, for that matter). However, over the last 12 months, I've gathered an impressively diverse array of new music for my collection. I'll readily admit many of these are single songs from certain CDs (thanks to a recommendation or a top-40 hit I Shazam-ed [new verb, Webster] from the radio), but there are a few full albums I eagerly purchased and which remain on constant rotation in my headphones, in the car, or on the laptop. In no particular order, my ten favorite albums of 2010:

1. Arcade Fire: The Suburbs
Favorite Songs: "The Suburbs" and "Sprawl II"

Most All of the big music magazines, reviewers, record companies, etc. have deemed this CD one of the best of the year. They aren't wrong. I've never been an Arcade Fire fan until this year...not because I wasn't impressed by their music, but just because I wasn't aware of them. I'm a sucker for albums that thread a theme throughout the songs and lyrics, and this one certainly does: While a Pitchfork review claims "the bulk of The Suburbs focuses on the quiet desperation borne of compounding the pain of wasting your time as an adult by romanticizing the wasted time of your youth," there's also a subtle hopefulness and nostalgia for suburban roots within the words. Arcade Fire sound a little bit like The Strokes, but there are also moments of Bowie-esque pitch. They've been the most consistently mentioned band in the headliners-of-Coachella rumor-mill. Fingers. Crossed.

2. Passion Pit: Manners
Favorite Song: "Moth's Wings"

There's a line in this album's second song, "Little Secrets," that begs the question: "Have you ever felt so god damn strong?" While I'm 95% sure it's a reference to being on illicit drugs, the listener nevertheless has to hold back a triumphant answer. The "Biography" section of Amazon.com gives the following explanation of the CD: "Redemption. Paranoia. Guilt. And brief glimpses of a better tomorrow, all cloaked in pop hooks that truly help the medicine go down." Because I don't know how to accurately describe musical rhythms, beats, and the aforementioned "hooks," I'll say that's about right. The lyrics and sounds are different, bizarre, and take at least a second listen to appreciate--for me, at least. However, once I'd listened to this album all the way through a few times, the catchy beats are almost impossible not to like.

3. Jimmy Eat World: Invented
Favorite Songs: "Movielike"and "Invented"

I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Jimmy Eat World. Their 2001 album, Bleed American, helped get me through college, and I ended up having to replace the disc due to overuse. I was 22 years old when Futures was released, and the poignancy of the album's final song struck a chord in me like few songs ever had: "Amazing still it seems/ I'll be 23/ I won't always love what I'll never have/ I won't always live in my regrets...I'm here I'm now I'm ready/ Holding on tight/ Don't give away the end/ The one thing that stays mine." In the list of my top 50 favorite songs of all-time, Jimmy Eat World holds at least two spots ("Catch this Light"? Captivating). That being said, I don't think Invented is their best album. Don't get me wrong; it's beautiful, catchy, mellow but not weak...in fact, there are quite a few songs here that sound (almost too) reminiscent of their previous work, just...not as good. However, it's still a solid album from one of (what I believe to be) the best bands out there right now, one whose staying power has not only lasted for over a decade, but will continue to. This CD may be "nothing movie-like; nothing magic," but that doesn't mean it isn't excellent.

4. Eminem: Recovery
Favorite Songs: "Space Bound" and "25 to Life" 

This album received, at best, only mediocre reviews; in fact, most critics deemed it muddled and too-familiar, pompous and underwhelming. According to Rolling Stone, this disc's songs "hearken back to [Eminem's] freewheeling early records — rhymes as goofy and imaginative as they are violent and profane." I don't listen to every song when I play it...to be completely honest, probably only half. Yet, those "chosen" pieces, at least to me, are honest, intelligent, and brave; confessions from a drug-addled and highly-criticized lyrical talent. In "No Love," Eminem boasts he's "'bout to spit the greatest verse of all time," claiming he'll "set fire to the mic and ignite the crowd"...overstatement? Absolutely. However, with the exception of Kanye and Jay-Z, I can't think of another modern rapper able to create an album both as controversial or as brutally candid.

5. Ray LaMontagne and the Pariah Dogs: God Willin' & the Creek Don't Rise
Favorite Song: "For the Summer"

What Eminem does for angst-ridden teenagers and bitter, mad-at-the-world audiences Ray LaMontagne does for the mellow members of the Thursday Night Wine Club. This CD is overflowing with rich, summer-evening-porch music, perfect for watching that "big yellow moon risin' up over them old hills."  Not surprisingly (given LaMontagne's montrous and James Taylor-worthy talent), listening to this disc varies only slightly from hearing LaMontagne and his talented ensemble serenade live, which I was lucky enough to experience in September. While I hesitate to say so, just because it sounds so cheap and belittling, God Willin' & the Creek Don't Rise is perfect "background music" for dinner parties or lounging beach days; easy to absorb and appreciate. 

6. The Dirty Heads: Any Port in a Storm
Favorite Song: "Believe"

I listened to a lot of reggae--namely Rebelution, SOJA, and these guys--this year, but apparently I'm behind the times, since a lot of it wasn't released in 2010. I almost didn't include this CD. I actually had The Black Keys' Brothers here first, which is absolutely and irrevocably a more powerful and impressive musical accomplishment. However, while The Black Keys are certainly a more expected (dignified? correct?) choice, I feel like I'd be doing The Dirty Heads (and, by association, my entire summer) a disservice if I didn't mention this album. I spent a good deal of my June-August blasting this disc; a reggae-infused CD that sounds a lot like a vibrant fusing of Pepper and Slightly Stoopid. They toured with Sublime with Rome and Cage the Elephant over the summer, and it's one of the few shows I was genuinely sad to miss. They also do a pretty killer acoustic version of Coldplay's "Viva La Vida." "Six damn strings [almost] never sounded so appealing."

7. Broken Bells: Broken Bells
Favorite Songs: "The High Road" and "The Ghost Inside"

I remember being really excited when I heard The Shins' James Mercer was coming out with a side project, and I remember being even more excited when I found out the co-contributor was Danger Mouse-- while I like Gnarls Barkley, Danger Mouse is a musical genius in my mind due to his work with and for Gorillaz. While this disc lacks Damon Albarn's pure talent (which may or may not be of my own mind's making) and the pulse-heavy beats of Gorillaz, it's one I can put on from start to finish without skipping a song. The lyrics are poetic but not sappy: "Remember what they say/ There's no shortcut to a dream/ It's all blood and sweat/ And life is what you manage in between." Brilliance.

8. LCD Soundsystem: This is Happening
Favorite Song: "Dance Yrself Clean"

It kills me that it took me until this month to discover this CD. According to LCD Soundsystem, "There's lights and sounds and stories/ Music's just a part." True, but it's a big part, and This is Happening should be proud to join the ranks of some of the most memorable and risk-taking modern music makers. I'm not usually a fan of techno/electronic type music, and this is probably the closet I've come to embracing the genre. In my mind, the songs on this CD are a little too long and contain too many open spaces of dance beats and blank verse, but that could very well be because I'm not used to listening to much lyric-free music. LCD Soundsystem sounds a little like Daft Punk (which is ironic--or perhaps purposeful--seeing as how "Daft Punk is Playing at My House" is the title of one of their previous songs), however this disc seems less like the TRON soundtrack and more like an appropriate homage to David Bowie.

9. Gorillaz: Plastic Beach
Favorite Songs: "On Melancholy Hill" and "Superfast Jellyfish"

Pure. Genius. Arguably the most notable CD of 2010. I realize that might be a little dramatic or pretentious, but I'm fascinated by the entire arrangement and force of even the concept behind the world's first animated band. The not-so-subtle message behind this album (America is not disposable, folks) is well-dressed in calculated but not patronizing lyrics, and the frontman, Damon Albarn, just can't seem to make a musical misstep. Plus, impressive collaborations with nearly a dozen other artists (i.e. De La Soul, Snoop Dogg, Little Dragon) provide for a brilliantly executed musical canvas--not only does Albarn utilize his own musical talents, he also knows when to step back and allow his "cast" to shine. I saw them live in October, and don't plan on missing a tour of theirs again. Ever. Buy this CD.

10. Kanye West: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Favorite Songs: "All of the Lights," "Runaway," and "See Me Now"

I don't like Kanye West: The Person. Granted, I've never actually met the guy, but the persona put forth to the media seems highly-arrogant, selfish, annoyingly flashy, and entitled-- (from his own mouth: "[I'm] young, rich, and tasteless"). Kanye West: The Artist, however, is a different story. Whether I think his diamond teeth and twitter over-shares are obnoxious and unnecessary or not, this adept rapper has a way with words and harmonies. According to Paste Magazine, West's 5th studio release is "perhaps this century’s definitive portrait of torment, vanity, self-delusion, and pathos." The title of this disc is pretty self-explanatory: Dark? Yes. Twisted? Definitely. Beautiful? Absolutely. The rhymes are catchy and truthful, the beats are memorable and varied, and the collaborators are highly skilled (Kid Cudi, Jay-Z, Beyonce, Elton John, Bon Iver, John Legend, Swizz Beatz...the list goes on). Like it's creator, there are certainly times this CD feels self-centered and boisterous, but I can't deny it's a masterpiece.

     *                                        *                                        *                                        *

And the winner for most anticipated album of 2011...Unwritten Law: Swan.
Disclaimer: This album won't win any awards. The members of Unwritten Law won't be invited to the Grammys, let alone be asked to perform there. And while their previous CDs have contained (some) impressively dark and meaningful lyrics, the leaked mp3s I've heard from Swan seem relatively tame and--dare I say it--"mainstream." But it doesn't matter. I'll follow this band to the ends of the earth and back. Cheers to the next effort...

Some Times I Wouldn't Change for the World

"Swing Life Away," Rise Against

Things I should be doing:

* Grading hundreds (literally) of papers
* Returning phone calls
* Laundry
* Re-reading the last four chapters of The Scarlet Letter and planning the end of the unit
* Cleaning out my car

Things I am doing:

* About to start my third Stella of the day
* Sharing new music with my brother
* Admiring my dad's three beautiful horses
* Listening to my husband butcher "Like a G6"
* Deciding which sides go best with tri-tip

It's so perfect.

Vaya Con Dios...

You Look Like You've Seen a Ghost

"Sometime Around Midnight," The Airborne Toxic Event

I've always liked Halloween: The decorations, the candy, the scary movies. Growing up, my family always embraced the holiday. It was more than the fake cobwebs on the front patio gate or the trick-or-treating. Most years, my parents both dressed up. Most years, my mom made my costume weeks before, spending hours covered in superglue and diligently working over a sewing machine. Most years, my brother and I recruited our neighborhood friends to construct an elaborate haunted house, meticulously weaving our "victims" through the spookified backyard in a decorated coffin-esque dolly. 

This year, Tim made a surprise trip to San Diego. Ill-timed costumes aside, we had an amazing night.

Two Chairs, One Empty in the Corner

"Two Cups of Coffee," Josh Kelley


Living apart is more difficult than I initially anticipated    is really hard    sucks. 

You're a falling star, You're the get-away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And You're the perfect thing to say. 

The days are vibrant and scurrying-beetle-busy. The nights go by too fast and the phone isn't enough. To hear the inflection and the tone in a voice is one ladder rung better than an e-mail or a text, but there isn't a voice beautiful or powerful enough in the world to compare with the physical contact and affection of a simple hug. I miss him and I know it. Some days I don't know how to get those words out in the way I want to, and instead it comes out in frustrated and unwarranted anger. 

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

We fight because it's late and we're exhausted and we have to get up in a few hours. He's not here and I'm not there and I can't talk for long because I have at least two more hours of work before I go to bed. And the power's out and Bailey needs more Advantage and the laundry needs to be done and can we really afford that this month? And then, we spend too many hours not talking, allowing our stubborn natures to entangle like a disease, infecting the already too little space we do have to talk and laugh and share. Because it's more important to be right and to win then it is to apologize and retract. Or so it seems, then.

Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

Sometimes we say things we don't mean and it hurts and I wonder if the effects run deeper--longer-- than any visible scars. Because the truth is, there aren't instructions for living 300 miles away from your best friend and husband. There isn't a guidebook or a script or a magic band-aid that takes away the confusion and the loneliness. Not that I'd want it necessarily if there was-- life's intricate mystery and beauty is often masked and indecipherable before the lesson or the "product" is revealed. But until then, this metaphorical ocean will inevitably be full of both calm and high seas. And truth be told, I haven't navigated these particular waves before. Some days, then, the tranquility must come from what we know and where we've been rather than where we currently are.

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, You make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

They say strong ships always come back to safe harbor. The weathered vessels-- the ones full of creaks, rust, torn masts, barnacles-- are perhaps the most powerful, as their strength has been tested and proven amidst even the harshest stretch of sea. It makes sense relationships would follow the relatively same logic, and while the figurative passages without land in sight are isolated and scary, the end reward is so rich and sweet and gratifying...

You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.

The Way My Life's Got to Be

"The Reeling," Passion Pit

Tomorrow's class schedule on the whiteboard, check. Sigh over the amount of grading that's not done, check. Put on my rapist jacket raincoat and walk to the car, check. Stop at 7-11 for the extra-large-24-ounce cup of nature's best hot chocolate, check. Walk Bailey, check. Avoid the stack of bills, check. Eat the rest of yesterday's deviled egg salad, check. Collapse into the couch and watch 44 minutes of bad TV, check. Listen to Nelly "Just a Dream" and Jay Sean "2012" as motivation music, check. Turn on the computer (and, obviously, Pandora) and begin to plan for tomorrow, check. Go to bed too late and prepare for a repeat tomorrow, check. Boring? Maybe. Necessary? Definitely. I've been traveling the last four weekends in a row, and while My Life: October 2010 has been full of beautiful people, beautiful places, and beautiful memories (pictures and stories to come!), I cannot wait for this upcoming weekend. What's in store? Oh, no big deal, just an entire 48 hour block of pure, unadulterated laziness. Featuring: me, my couch, my television, my huge cotton sweats (men's size large, thanks), 85 cups of coffee, and Trader Joe's cereal. Oh, and sleeping in until 10. At least. Sure, I'll have to do a little quite a bit of grading. But I don't plan on leaving the house. Except to take Bailey out. Maybe.

Here's to the weekend. And also, Christopher Columbus, since I'll be teaching his 1494 letter to the king and queen of Spain next week:

We make lists, we make plans,
to write books, to form bands,
Or move to Kreuzberg and escape into the night
So pack your bags, let's take control
you and me, let's go the next time you're lonely
or the next time that you're free

So why, so why, so why
If we can make the plans, can we just not find the time

Don't get me wrong
I know it's hard and the good things never last
Yet there's no point waiting for the miracle to save your life
If you took the time to find what's real amongst the
baggage that you feel is holding you back
the demons cast aside...

The safe way is not the way to live your life
Your mind is beautiful, don't let the daydreams die

-"Find the Time," Get Cape, Wear Cape, Fly

If I Get Home Before Daylight...

 ...I just might get some sleep tonight

"Friend of the Devil," Grateful Dead

Grades are due at noon tomorrow; I'm DEFINITELY not done grading a huge stack of Sylvia Plath/Langston Hughes AP comparison essays, and it's already 10:30 PM. Tim and I went to Justin and Melissa's (beautiful!) wedding in Sacramento this weekend and had a blast--SUCH a happy couple, and SO good to see all of Tim's Michigan friends--, although "dehydrated" and "exhausted" are certainly two words at the top of my current list of About Me adjectives.

I have so much to write about and zero time to do it, but I wanted to write a quick post to document that my kids are--for the most part-- just flat out RAD and I'm absolutely loving my classes...30 students today decided to take me up on what we've dubbed the Transcendental Challenge; they're attempting 8 days with no texting, no Facebook, and no instant messaging of any kind-- I'm SO proud of them. AND, Tim and I have the honor and privilege of attending Justin and Collen's wedding this upcoming weekend in SB. As busy and overloaded and DVR-Us-Weekly-deprived as I am, sometimes I'm not quite sure if life gets any better...

(And then, I stumble across the following badass picture of the one and only EAP, and I realize that actually, it does:)

pondering weak and weary? hardly...

Some Things Tie Your Life Together...

...slender threads and things to treasure
"Dusk and Summer," Dashboard Confessional

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks his temperature]
Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

Well, thank God. Because honestly, I'm thisclose to being there. Actually, scratch that-- I might already be there. Perhaps I'm perpetually waiting at the Bonkers bus stop, wondering if I should climb aboard the next bus and figure out whether my current journey is cyclical (and I can look forward to a return to sanity!) or the next stopping point only travels further into the abyss of chaos and craziness; clutter and despair.


Okay. Time to back up. True to form, that last statement is overdramatic and excessive-- (sorry Mom-- try as I might, that tendency to exaggerate may just be permanently ingrained in my disposition). But in all seriousness, I'm exhausted. And just flat out overworking myself. I'm teaching a new class this year, and in the past four weeks I've spent just too many hours over-analyzing lesson plans and under-sleeping. Editing senior personal statements and helping my former juniors apply for scholarships, figure out college choices, and begin to answer the always-changing and ever-metaphorical question of "Who Am I?" While that might sound a little over-the-top, I honestly have a handful of kids who are on the aforementioned kick; questing to determine their place in the world and the role they're supposed to fill in society. Case in point: 

Student: But aren't I supposed to find a college that caters to what I want? 
Me: You mean in terms of a major? No, not necessarily...most people enter college unsure of what they want to do; what field they want to pursue. 
Student:  I heard you're supposed to KNOW before you go to college. That way you pick the right college. I mean, what if my college doesn't end up having what I want to major in? 
Me: Well, I entered college as a Marine Biology and Ecology major. And now I teach high school English. Just like almost every college out there, my college offered both. Even if you have an idea of what you want to pursue now, there's a pretty good chance that might change. 
Student: Oh my God! So how am I supposed to pick a college??? 
Me: That's where you need to research. Geographically, where do you want to go to school? How big of a student population are you looking for?
Student: Psychology. 
Me: ...

My lunch periods and hour-long blocks of time after school are devoted to current and former students needing help, wanting advice, begging for guidance. Desiring a paper-editing session. Sitting in frustration because they failed a reading quiz and are now serving a detention. Holding back tears due to recent unwanted and ill-timed news. Brimming with pride because the scholarship came early. Visiting from college, beaming to tell me about the poems they're reading in English 101. Frantically asking about student loans, thesis statements, or punctuation placement. I'm on overload, and I need a place to transfer these jumbled emotions, however fleeting and haphazard, from the chasm of my brain onto a more tangible surface. In doing so, I can do my best to look in from an Outsider's Point of View. Truth be told, I have to let some of it go. I can't sit down with every single one of my students to go over an essay draft. I can't anticipate and plan for every single potential question which might arise from that assignment. I can't re-read every chapter. I think my biggest hurdle, then, is being okay with that. And I'm getting there.

What I need, perhaps, is a healthy dose of perspective. Because really, I think my biggest irritation thus far today has been that my iPhone camera doesn't have a zoom. And I got to spend the weekend with my dad; playing gin rummy, drinking expensive non-Trader Joe's wine, watching Robin Hood, and learning how to drive a tractor. AND, because sometimes I think Pandora honestly has the ability to read my mind, the live version of Counting Crows' "Rain King" magnificently just appeared on my Van Morrison station.

The day before my wedding, my aunt said to me: Just always remember that there are no dress rehearsals in real life. Second chances are extremely rare, and because of that you have to be willing to take every risk and hold nothing back, ever. Enjoy these moments. Live them.

Duly noted.  

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, 

of just going along, 

listening to all the things you can't hear, 

and not bothering.  

~Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne