Some Things Tie Your Life Together...

...slender threads and things to treasure
"Dusk and Summer," Dashboard Confessional

The Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?
[Alice checks his temperature]
Alice: I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

Well, thank God. Because honestly, I'm thisclose to being there. Actually, scratch that-- I might already be there. Perhaps I'm perpetually waiting at the Bonkers bus stop, wondering if I should climb aboard the next bus and figure out whether my current journey is cyclical (and I can look forward to a return to sanity!) or the next stopping point only travels further into the abyss of chaos and craziness; clutter and despair.


Okay. Time to back up. True to form, that last statement is overdramatic and excessive-- (sorry Mom-- try as I might, that tendency to exaggerate may just be permanently ingrained in my disposition). But in all seriousness, I'm exhausted. And just flat out overworking myself. I'm teaching a new class this year, and in the past four weeks I've spent just too many hours over-analyzing lesson plans and under-sleeping. Editing senior personal statements and helping my former juniors apply for scholarships, figure out college choices, and begin to answer the always-changing and ever-metaphorical question of "Who Am I?" While that might sound a little over-the-top, I honestly have a handful of kids who are on the aforementioned kick; questing to determine their place in the world and the role they're supposed to fill in society. Case in point: 

Student: But aren't I supposed to find a college that caters to what I want? 
Me: You mean in terms of a major? No, not necessarily...most people enter college unsure of what they want to do; what field they want to pursue. 
Student:  I heard you're supposed to KNOW before you go to college. That way you pick the right college. I mean, what if my college doesn't end up having what I want to major in? 
Me: Well, I entered college as a Marine Biology and Ecology major. And now I teach high school English. Just like almost every college out there, my college offered both. Even if you have an idea of what you want to pursue now, there's a pretty good chance that might change. 
Student: Oh my God! So how am I supposed to pick a college??? 
Me: That's where you need to research. Geographically, where do you want to go to school? How big of a student population are you looking for?
Student: Psychology. 
Me: ...

My lunch periods and hour-long blocks of time after school are devoted to current and former students needing help, wanting advice, begging for guidance. Desiring a paper-editing session. Sitting in frustration because they failed a reading quiz and are now serving a detention. Holding back tears due to recent unwanted and ill-timed news. Brimming with pride because the scholarship came early. Visiting from college, beaming to tell me about the poems they're reading in English 101. Frantically asking about student loans, thesis statements, or punctuation placement. I'm on overload, and I need a place to transfer these jumbled emotions, however fleeting and haphazard, from the chasm of my brain onto a more tangible surface. In doing so, I can do my best to look in from an Outsider's Point of View. Truth be told, I have to let some of it go. I can't sit down with every single one of my students to go over an essay draft. I can't anticipate and plan for every single potential question which might arise from that assignment. I can't re-read every chapter. I think my biggest hurdle, then, is being okay with that. And I'm getting there.

What I need, perhaps, is a healthy dose of perspective. Because really, I think my biggest irritation thus far today has been that my iPhone camera doesn't have a zoom. And I got to spend the weekend with my dad; playing gin rummy, drinking expensive non-Trader Joe's wine, watching Robin Hood, and learning how to drive a tractor. AND, because sometimes I think Pandora honestly has the ability to read my mind, the live version of Counting Crows' "Rain King" magnificently just appeared on my Van Morrison station.

The day before my wedding, my aunt said to me: Just always remember that there are no dress rehearsals in real life. Second chances are extremely rare, and because of that you have to be willing to take every risk and hold nothing back, ever. Enjoy these moments. Live them.

Duly noted.  

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, 

of just going along, 

listening to all the things you can't hear, 

and not bothering.  

~Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

Right Here in the California Sun

"Sinner," Scott Russo feat. Big B

And just like that, summer was over...


The kids are back. School's in session. My days are once again brimming with verb phrases and infinitives, one-pagers and theme posters, literary terms and suspicious stories about broken printers. John Proctor, Abigail Williams, Holden Caulfield, Sylvia Plath...they're all suddenly back in my life: not-so-long-lost friends returned from their own summer vacation on the shelves of my classroom.

Tim, ever the dream-chaser, accepted an amazing job opportunity at UCSB, assistant coaching the men's and women's swim team for the one and only Gregg Wilson. He's excited and exhausted and challenged and just loving every single minute of this new journey. As hard as the (temporary) separation is, I couldn't be happier for him-- for us.

And so...I have a roommate! A dear, dear friend from high school moved in last weekend, and despite my inability to cook, our shared inability to avoid bad television, and Bailey's inability to behave like a normal dog, the set-up is just perfect.

If tonight's stars aligned the way I wanted them to, I'd have the next few hours to update this poor excuse for a blog in my current Mumford and Sons-induced bliss, however perhaps the better bet is to to prepare for tomorrow's Back-to-School Night and re-read the first three chapters of Kindred, since I'll be teaching it in about 11 hours.

Of course, the season premiere of Gossip Girl is also calling. Something tells me I just might cave in to Fox's pure demoniac hour-long teen-soap pitfall...And so it begins; the teacher's constant dilemma: grading papers or Taco Tuesdays? Lesson planning or happy hour? The Real World or Back-to-School Night PowerPoint? As always, the choice is inevitable. Sigh.

Missing you. Proud of you. Every. Day. 

Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

-Simon and Garfunkel

You're My Best Friend

Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

We laugh until we think we’ll die,
Barefoot on a summer night
Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you

-Home (is wherever I'm with you), Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

2010 Summer Adventures:

Robin and Pat's Wedding; Tahoe

 Carlsbad Triathlon

 

 Chip and Amanda's Wedding; San Luis Obispo

Spearfishing/Kayaking; Newport

Dear Tim,

One year ago, in front of hundreds of our family members and friends, we were married. It feels like yesterday I was embracing the butterflies in my stomach and wiping tears from my eyes as I headed down the aisle towards you. What an amazing first year...I just don't have any words to thank you for your tremendous love, patience, respect, kindness, trust, courage, and friendship...just that I'm so, so lucky.

Over the last six years, we've played in Tahoe:

Explored dozens of America's cities, including Newport, Rhode Island, Wilmington, North Carolina, and Chicago, Illinois:

 

Hiked over and through countless trails:

 

SCUBA-dived in Catalina, Saint Lucia, and the Great Barrier Reef:

Traveled through Greece and Turkey:

 

Pampered ourselves at a few resorts:

...and laughed every step of the way:

Sydney, Australia; 2005 

Thank you for being my partner-in-crime, my own personal Eliot Stabler, and the all-around best person I know. You make my world such a bright place, and I'm grateful every single day. To the moon and back...

Song of the Open Road

-Walt Whitman

Listen, I will be honest with you
I do not offer the old smooth prizes
But offer rough new prizes
These are the days that must happen to you:
You shall not heap up what is called riches,
You shall scatter with lavish hand all that you earn or achieve.
However sweet the laid up stores,
However convenient the dwelling, you shall not remain there.
However sheltered the port, however calm the waters, you shall not anchor there.
However welcome the hospitality that welcomes you,
You are permitted to receive it but a little while Afoot and lighthearted, take to the open road

Healthy, free, the world before you the long brown path before you, leading wherever you choose.

Say only to one another:
Camerado, I give you my hand!
I give you my love more precious than money; I give you myself before preaching and law:
Will you give me yourself?
Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

The Beauty is in What Isn't Said

"Chase This Light," Jimmy Eat World

I'm only here in body visiting...

I'm rising to my feet
Because tonight, the world turned in me.

Because right now, I don't dare to breathe.

 I know, it's alive and somewhere for us to find tonight...

Chase this light with me.

My just so, my last call,

My life is yours in your gifted hands.

Confetti rainfall in a quiet street.

These things I've found are special now,

The knot is in my reach...

 

I've seen the best of love, the best of hate, the best reward is earned.

 

 

The beauty is in what you make it,
So get up on your feet.

Because tonight, the world turned in me.
Because right now, I don't dare to breathe.
I know, it's alive and somewhere for us to find tonight...

Chase this light with me.

 

Machu Picchu Sunrise

7-19-2010

There's Such a lot of World to See

"Moon River," Andy Williams

Peru: Day 1 and 2

Yesterday I got back from Peru. The trip was just incredible; so full of activities and ruins and history and memories. There's no way I can accurately and fully describe it in words or pictures, but I'll do my best...
Marisa, Natalie, and I took a group of 6 kids. They spent the travel-filled ten days wide-eyed and appreciative; willing and adventurous. I am so, so proud of them:

Instant friends: Our kids flying to Lima from Houston

We arrived in Lima (Peru's capital) late at night, which worked out well because we were all exhausted. Our tour guide, Jaime, picked us up at the airport, and it was there we met the six other travelers (from New York) who would be accompanying our group of nine throughout the next nine days. The hotel we stayed at was nicer than expected, in the "upscale" Miraflores District, and we woke up early the next day to explore the city. Hola Lima!

 Lima's famous Plaza de Armas, which has been the center of Lima since 1535, when the city was founded by Spanish conquistador Francisco Pizarro. Since then, it has been used as a theatre, a bull ring, and a killing field for people sentenced to death by the Spanish Inquisition.

Due to riots and protests occurring during our visit, armed policemen lined the streets.

 

The traffic in Lima is horrendous and dangerous. Drivers do not adhere to street signs or signals, and as a result many accidents occur daily.

Convento de San Francisco

While in Lima, we were able to tour the archeological museum as well as the famous Church of San Francisco. Understandably, we were not allowed to take pictures inside the churches we toured. The sights inside were absolutely magnificent, and Jaime's wealth of knowledge and information was so helpful. We were able to view Diego de la Puente's rendition of The Last Supper, which varies considerably from Da Vinci's. Instead of being seated at a banquet-style table, Jesus and his Disciples are gathered around a round table, and children appear all over providing food and drinks. There's a small devil-looking creature whispering in Judas's ear. In addition, a guinea pig (one of Peru's delicacies) rests as the main dish in the center of the table.

As a surprise to all of us, we were able to explore the underground catacombs, or ossuary, beneath the Monastery of San Francisco. Skeletal remains line the walls, and burial pits run along the walls, holding bones divided by body part. Below is a picture of the main well, 10 meters deep and containing old citizens and parishioners of Lima. It was just as I imagine the setting of Poe's The Cask of Amontillado, complete with the eerie smells, dark lighting, and silence...

Meeting local Peruvian teens in front of the cathedral.

For dinner after our first full day, we went to a chain-type Peruvian restaurant called Norky's. It was here we were able to try Perus' famous soda, Inca Cola, for the first time. It's actually pretty disgusting; entirely too sweet (even for me!) and tastes like bubble gum:

The next morning we flew to Cusco, Peru's former Incan capital, and had to wake up at 2:00 AM for our flight. We needed to leave early in order to avoid the large amount of turbulence that exists on this particular flight, and we were definitely tired as we boarded the plane. The sunrise, however, at the end of the flight was magnificent:

 

In Cusco we stayed at the Mabey Hotel, which was even nicer than our hotel in Lima. Once we arrived, we were instructed to drink the Coca leaf tea and go directly to bed in order to acclimate to Cusco's 11,150 foot elevation. Many travelers get altitude sickness, and our group was no exception: most members of our group suffered from headaches, stomachaches, diarrhea, and/or vomiting at one point or another during the trip. The Coca plant is native to the Andes Mountains, and is the main ingredient in cocaine. While I was under the impression Colombia is the world's largest cocaine distibutor, it is in fact Peru.

 Coca Plant Tea

After a few hours of acclimation, we walked to lunch at an Indian/Peruvian fusion restaurant, then set out to explore the beautiful city of Cusco. We spent about a half an hour in the Plaza de Armas, which was one of the most gorgeous town squares I've ever seen, flanked on all sides by historic churches or the daunting Andes Mountains.

After touring the town square, we went to the Coricancha Temple, the most important temple in the Incan Empire, which was dedicated to the Sun God. Here we were able to see hundreds of pieces of Incan art, jewerly, and other various artifacts. The gardens around the temple were just beautiful:

 

After the temple, we took the bus up the mountains to our first Incan ruin site, Saqsaywaman. While the Incans lived in and expanded on this site, it was actually built by an even earlier civilization, the Killke culture.

The walls used to be much higher, but the Spanish used large pieces of the walls to build Cusco churches hundreds of years ago. The massive walls are made of huge rocks fitted so closely together that a piece of paper cannot be slipped through the cracks, therefore the precision is incredible.

 

Our guide, Jaime, telling us about the Incan rituals and beliefs surrounding Saqsaywaman.

 

 

 A full view of Cusco from the top of Saqsaywaman.

 Two of my three students..."S" for Siciliano... (their idea) :)

For dinner on our second night, we walked to a traditional restaurant where a local Peruvian flute band serenaded us while we ate (yes Paul, I bought a Peruvian flute for you!)

Peru music is awesome. Flute bands, live bands, festival dance music; it's all catchy and vibrant and fun. Plus, it's clear the Peruvians enjoy it and are proud of it, which makes it that much better. A traditional pan flute song we heard multiple times:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wp9aQwP-j8M